Stop Looking for Your “Other Half” you are Already Whole. Hi my loves! Do you have that one friend that has always been unlucky when it comes to love? No? Well then, is it you? Are you that friend? I am! My love life has always been complicated to say the very least.
People always say “there are plenty of fish in the sea“. Well as many times as I have heard that phrase in my 32 years, I have only seemed to stumble across those nightmare-inducing ones that they round-up for those Scariest Creatures Under the Sea Facebook posts. Let’s see, I have had not one but TWO fish that had secret babies. Yes, you read that correctly, whole, entire children that they kept a secret from me while we were dating. Also, there was that one psycho fish that tried to steal my business from me and then got a lawyer and tried to sue me over it. Yeah, that is just the tip of this dumpster fire of a dating history that I have experienced.
It got to the point where I had a whole Taylor Swift moment where I thought, is it me? It has to be me right? I cannot just be THAT bad at picking men. Well, it’s not me, I was just looking for something that I already had inside me.
Single and Southern
So, if you haven’t figured it out yet. I am single, in a, “I still talk to my ex-boyfriend that cheated and broke my heart” kind of way single. Yeah, I know, my therapist tells me how unhealthy that is too. I get it, but here we are. Yeah, 32, single and southern, still living in the town that I grew up in! Which in case you didn’t know, that means I am surrounded by all my high school friends who went straight from the stage accepting their diplomas to the wedding aisle saying “I do” to their high school sweetheart. This is the south, even in 2020 that’s the usual path for most women here.
What about those of us that took a different route?
I didn’t even go on a date in high school much less meet my soul mate. This is not going to be one of those sad stories where I tell you that I was fat in high school and no one liked me. I mean, I was fat in high school, still am actually, but I had a blast! I had a great group of friends that I was always doing crazy (should have got me killed, sorry mom) stuff with and genuinely miss those carefree teenage years. Even then, my ability to pick men who were completely wrong for me was astonishing. I had the biggest crush on this big truck driving, camo wearing, deer hunting country boy. When you go to school in rural Alabama there aren’t that many other options but looking back on it now I should have known better. That wasn’t the journey for me.
Not that there haven’t been a few “good ones” here and there that I could have settled down and had some cute chubby babies with but they weren’t the guys for me. I knew that and was not about to settle. I am here to tell you that you do not have to have a partner to be whole and fulfilled. Here I am single, southern and f-ing thriving my friends. Having a spouse doesn’t complete you. So, Stop Looking for Your “Other Half” you are Already Whole.
You Want Him, You Don’t Need Him
I am not saying that having a significant other isn’t a wonderful thing, it is! However, it is not a requirement to live a full and happy life. Would you want someone to be with you because they need you or because they want you? There was a point in my life where I thought that I NEEDED a man to be happy and whole, this mentality put me in a lot of unhealthy and wrong relationships. After one particularly hard break up. I went to therapy, it was life-changing. I learned why and how to overcome this mindset and realized that I was missing out on life waiting on a man.
You Are Already Whole
The phrase my other half implies that you cannot function without that person. You can. You can thrive actually. If you are feeling unhappy or like you need something else in your life, please explore your own needs. Build the life that YOU want independent of a spouse or children. Stop waiting for the life you want to come to you and go out and get it! Travel, shop, eat, focus on strengthening the relationships with your friends.
You are Teammates, Not one Person
When I think of a relationship, I think of it as a team of players that are working together toward a goal. That goal is a happy and healthy relationship. Each person has to pull their weight and provide things to the relationship work so there is no way for you to just be one person that moves in unison with the other. When one is down the other helps pull you up and vice versa.
If Something is Missing in Your Life, It’s Not a Man
Thinking that a man is going to come in and fix your life or fill a void is an unhealthy way of getting into a relationship. You are giving him the power to control your happiness. You are responsible for your happiness. If you give someone else this power then you have no control over it. That could be disastrous for your mental health. Now, things happen and happiness comes and goes but it is up to you to maintain your own.
Ladies, get out there and find the life you love and Stop Looking for Your “Other Half” you are Already Whole!
Thanks for reading!
Megan (Curves, Curls and Clothes)